10.25.26

Some of us learned that taking care of ourselves meant disappointing someone else. So self-care can still feel strangely “mean.”

Your needs do not become selfish simply because someone else would prefer you ignore them.

10.24.26

Sometimes life is simply a lot. 

Several difficult things happen at once, none of them are easily fixed, and our nervous system begins to feel as though it is carrying more than one person should have to hold.

10.23.26

Sometimes denial is simply the space between knowing something intellectually and being ready to live as though it is true.

We can meet ourselves compassionately while becoming more honest about the behaviors that are no longer serving us.

10.22.26

Young parts often carry feelings that were never given enough attention, protection, or understanding. 

Trying to reason them out of those feelings can repeat the old message that their experience is inconvenient.

Healing begins by making room for what they feel and meeting it with curiosity, compassion, and steady presence without trying to make those feelings go away. 

10.21.26

Acceptance asks us to feel the energy beneath our reactions.

Before we distract, explain, control, judge, or reach for relief, there may be fear, grief, anger, longing, or uncertainty asking to be experienced rather than eliminated.

10.20.26

Feelings arrive through the body before we can always name them.

A tight chest, heavy throat, racing heart, or sinking stomach may feel unbearable, yet these sensations are often the body’s way of processing an experience that never had enough room to be acknowledged.

10.19.26

A child may have been overwhelmed by grief, fear, anger, or instability because there was no one available to help make sense of it. The adult does not have to avoid the feeling and sensations.

The adult can stay present long enough to help the younger part feel less alone with the intense emotions.

10.18.26

We spend years trying to avoid certain feelings, only to discover that the avoidance has been organizing our lives.

Freedom grows when we become more willing to feel what is here and less willing to let discomfort make every decision.

10.17.26

When conflict becomes a debate over facts, pause and ask, “What impact did this have on you?”

The details matter, and so does the emotional experience underneath them.

Relationships heal when they stop arguing only about what happened and begin caring about what happened inside each other.

10.16.26

When emotions get big, my mind wants to act, decide, explain, fix, or run. Slowing down gives me time to feel what is actually happening before fear turns it into a conclusion.