11.6.26

 Anxiety does not always need the message, “There is nothing to worry about.” Sometimes it needs, “Of course you are worried. This matters tremendously to you.”

11.5.26

We can hold people accountable without turning them into villains. We can remember their humanity without pretending their behavior has no impact. That middle ground is often much harder than choosing a side, and much more honest.

11.4.26

Asking for help is hard when you are used to being the one who knows what to do. It can feel exposed. It can also be one of the clearest ways to stop overfunctioning.

11.3.26

Our protective parts are usually trying to keep vulnerable parts from ever feeling an old pain again. That is why they can be so intense.

A self-led life does not ask them to disappear. It gives them another possibility: maybe I can feel something hard now and still take care of myself.

11.2.26

Before we need insight, advice, perspective, or regulation, many of us need attunement: someone to recognize that an emotional situation is having an emotional impact on us, and that our response makes sense.

11.1.26

A self-led life does not mean my protective parts disappear. I still have parts that want to please, control, fix, withdraw, overthink, defend, or make everything okay.

I am learning to notice when they take over, understand what they are protecting, and give myself a little more choice about what happens next. 

10.31.26

We do not need to be afraid every time anxiety shows up. Anxiety is something our bodies know how to do.

The practice is learning when there is actually something to respond to and when we simply need to give the feeling some time to settle.

10.30.26

Being kind does not require being endlessly available.

Being loving does not require ignoring your limits.

Being a good person does not require saying yes when every part of you is quietly saying, “This does not work for me.”

10.29.26

Hard things happening is not evidence that you are doing life wrong. Hard things happen because this is a human life. We get to learn how to grieve, recover, adjust, ask for help, rest when we need to and begin again when we are ready.

10.28.26

We talk a lot about learning to tolerate hard feelings, and I think sometimes we also have to learn to tolerate feeling good.

Ease can feel unfamiliar. Joy can make us want to look over our shoulder.

I am practicing letting a good moment simply be a good moment.